But rock on!

To make things infinitely worse, AnxiousMum garnered a mention. Fortunately I was not the only one completely infuriated by this – she is crazy, wildly unpopular, not at all a team player and spends her days shrieking at her ex-partner, sorting her personal administrivia and reading smh.

By!Golly! I am such a praise whore. Honestly, everyone who matters adores me and thinks I do a great job. Do I really need that external valuation? Why yes, of course I do!

This on the back of the very recent extreme machinations to get me back to TeamCareerDeath (which, very fortunately, after very extreme lobbying MrT, have come to naught) has left me a bit fragile.

DisneyPrincess informed us at post-ChristmasParty-drinks that she had been headhunted for a fabulous new job via LinkedIn and had resigned and promised (unsolicitedly) to keep an eye out for me at her new locale. I was so envious that this has made me more determined than ever to polish the CV over the Xmas break and work my way to getting the hell out of SML and get back in touch with peeps who might help me out.

Anyone need a spectacularly good data analyst?

The Holy!Goodness! started with the SaltMinesLimited Christmas Party on Friday afternoon where I became infuriated about yet again not getting any props in the CEO’s speech, despite the (if I do say so myself) very significant contribution I have made to radically changing the way SML operates. To make matters infinitely worse AnxiousMum got a mention.

I am sure you will be surprised to learn that I may have become a little ranty. Fortunately I was not the only person who found this the most preposterous thing in the whole of Christendom and were equally as livid.

Anyhoo, there were many post-lunch drinks at [redacted] East Sydney pub and I am super-thrilled to report that I did not get anywhere near as messy as last year and managed to comport myself with some dignity.

Because Vincenzo now works at SML, Joan often turns up at our gatherings and it was supremely gratifying that no-one (this being a much more cross-functional group than she had previously encountered) could believe that I could have offspring of such an age. Thanks drunken (and quite possibly blind) colleagues!

Afterward, despite the surprisingly large amount of available cabs, I walked home and I can never adequately express my thanks to the extremely lovely and gracious person on the end of the Quite Drunken and Lengthy Phone Call which comprised the entirety of my walk.

At lunch HIMTIAL1¹ asked me if I was coming to her BigGayChristmas the next evening, which I knew Heather & NotHeather were attending, and I’m all like, “dude, you didn’t invite me!”. Upon which she extended an invite.

As part of my trying to be better about keeping in touch (and embracing my star sign) I accepted.

The next day, in bed mucho hungover, I was having second thoughts (likewise Don, who had also had his Xmas party the previous night). I texted Heather, who responded with “Man up, Princess” and that was how, last evening, Don and I ended up in an Inner West pub with Heather and NotHeather and a whole bunch of MiddleAgedLesbians, singing along to random 80s songs on the jukebox and winning two meat trays in the raffle! And we had an blast.

And we all loved the pub, the likes of which we do not have in HippyTown2037. They were so lovely, cordoned off an area, let HIMTIAL1 & HIMTIAL2 bring nibbles, provided comp bottles of wine … so fab! And there was mucho local colour, when ours has been driven out by teh hipsters. Made us briefly wonder whether we need to look further afield for housing, but only briefly (too far to walk to work).

Today was spent lazing and napping and honestly, one could not ask for better. Is a wonderful time of the year.

¹Which of course stands for: Have I Mentioned That I’m A Lesbian 1, her adorable partner being, HIMTIAL2. By!Golly! I love them to death, but what is it that has Lesbians reminding you they are Lesbians every 5 seconds? Just in case you might have forgotten?

As TheProfessor commented today, “this has been longer than most of your marriages hasn’t it?”.

And what a wild ride it has been. There are a whole lot of anecdotes I could link to (for example, who could forget Selty or 400 year old man or [possibly] the first mention of my husband?), but you can trawl through the archives if you’re keen to relive the entire ghastly thing.

But, you know what? Despite the insanity, despite the dysfunction, SML has really rewarded me with a great deal and provided me with a whole lot of opportunities I might otherwise not have had. Sure, oftentimes it sucks the very lifeblood from me, but I have made some excellent friends, gained a very lovely husband and hopefully my experience has given me the skills and confidence to get the hell out as soon as I am able.

¹If you follow me on teh twitter, you will know I revealed the identity of BSCO² on Saturday morning while watching the ALP National Conference.

²Should you not follow me and are desperate to know (and gosh! why wouldn’t you be?) you can always email me.

I consider this a bit of an achievement because, for one reason and another (namely forgettery), I had not eaten since my apple at breakfast and a couple of spoonsful of yoghurt when I arrived home. Yes, silly.

I ran the same route as last week (who wouldn’t? is lovely!) and used this nifty tool to tell me how far I had run.

After arriving home, collapsing and mapping out my route, I was at 1.5km, a mere 100m more than last time. And thought to myself, “holy!goodness! you really are challenged at gauging distance, that extra bit seemed rather more than 100m”.

And then of course I realised that, being accustomed to living in a world with non-archiac measuring methods, I had assumed the wee tool was measuring in kilometres, but of course the default was set to miles and with the click of a button, just like magic, I had run 2.445 km¹!

This is infinitely more encouraging than I had previously thought. Perhaps in 6 months I can do the loop over the bridge (which would be 4.8km, but with a giant hill)!

¹ And 2.25km last week

While walking to SaltMinesLimited this morning an unfamilar glowing orb appeared in the sky, which when gazed upon caused all manner of spots to manifest themselves before the eyes.

You will be relieved to know that the weather soon returned to rains-ish and freezing soon afterward.

As someone more clever than I wrote to the smh

Christmas in July in December?

You may also notice the snow gently wafting across the page. Adding snow was an option in my settings, and although it is allegedly summer, it is so very cold it may as well be snowing.

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Caught up for a lovely not-too-boozy lunch with an ex-SaltMinesLimited pal (long time readers with good memories might know her as MrsAPG) at Jamie’s Kitchen today.

MrsAPG (must find new name for her) took one for the team and queued for the table (for 30 min) because they do not take bookings (walk-up only) and are insanely popular.

It was most, most excellent and very highly recommended!

As I’m sure some of you are more than aware, keeping in touch is not at all my forte, but in the year leading up to four-five I am trying to be better.

You have been warned.

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And I leave you with writing on things from the past 2 days

Entirely uncertain how to interpret the inverted commas around fat.

My lovely husband takes me out to lunch after Stressful Happenings.

I had a rotten sleep last night, due to freezing to death.

After yoga this evening I was planning to grab lamby from his summer home downstairs, but then I realised I had slightly less cumbersome lamb blanket hidden away in the walk-in wardrobe.

This one is made from pure virgin lambs!

Now that he has been unfurled onto the bed, you should now probably prepare yourselves for a heat-wave tomorrow.

Surely summer has to happen at some point?

While haus looked mucho fabulous on the InformationSuperHighway¹, it came up quite wanting InRealLife.

Immediately afterward I wanted to race to the phone and cast self at the feet of Princess and offer her anything she desired.

Deep breaths …

¹truly belle have the Best Stylists & most professional agents ever! and truly I would love to give them our business.

Long time readers (really, is there any other kind?) may also recall that I was once a running fiend, clocking up 5-6km 4 days a week – on the treadmill. Any efforts to run outside were fraught with shin splints and knee pain and I could barely manage 200m without needing a wee walk/rest.

Then, last year, came my horrid illness and the accompanying anemia – where I needed a 15 minute rest after the most basic of exertions (walking up a flight of stairs, for example). This was immediately followed by the horrid foot leprosy where I could barely walk for a good 2-3 months.

After a good deal of indolence (enfattening) and recovery and much to my horror, I decided that running might once again be A Thing To Do. But this time … outside, having long relinquished my gym membership.

Unfortunately my pokey toes have begun to break through the (lovely, pink) should-be-burned shoes and have resisted all efforts at mending.

Being serious about this endeavour, I decided to gift myself with a new pair of hideously expensive runners for my birthday (if I didn’t get the haus, holy!goodness! I was going to get something).

I was all about the nike, but the most excellent dude at the athlete’s foot persuaded me to try on brooks and by!golly! I was sold!

So wonderfully comfy!

And so it was that I took myself out and christened the shoes this afternoon. And, much to my amazement, I ran much further (without a rest) than I ever have outdoors! Sure, it was only 1.4km, but it was at least 1km than my best non-treadmill distance. I did run another 500m after a wee walk, but am not sure that counts in terms of the amazing.

Yay! Me!

And yay for Does It Offend You, Yeah who provided most excellent musical accompaniment to this adventure.

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As an aside, I cannot believe how infinitely superior the SaltMinesLimited (i)phone camera is to the personal phone’s (I mean, I read the reviews of the aria’s dodgy cam, but holy!goodness!)

And so we were forced to locate another dealer to take care of him. Today was his first visit to Larke Hoskins!

They gave us a giant umbrella, a teddy bear

and, hilariously, replaced our Rick Damelian licence plate holders with their own.