50before50: #5 gtfo of SML (or resign myself to seeing out my days there and shut the hell up about the horror)

In June 2014 when I set this project, SML was an extremely toxic place to be. Our new CEO (Dr12) was appointed and was making changes – but it was slow-going and there was a lot to address. There was very obvious infighting amongst the senior leadership team, I was reporting to the very mercurial and often tyrannical MrT^^ and being actively plotted-against** by Hecate and TheProfessor. Worst of all I’d just been seconded to Hecate to fix broken processes in her division – because I’m that kind of person.

It was miserable and awful and little wonder I wanted to leave.

This dysfunction culminated in SML missing one of our major KPIs by roughly $25m for the second year running. Finally there was a Reckoning, the evil Hecate was asked to leave and Knut, Heather and I were all promoted. And the next year we exceeded the target by ~$30m – through collaboration, teamwork and actually having and sticking to a plan. It was pretty glorious – and very professionally satisfying.

Suddenly I was actually enjoying my job!

Then Dr12 unexpectedly returned to the UK, MrT was asked to leave and Bobs joined us.

Bobs is absolutely bonkers, but he is a professional, often listens to my opinions and occasionally takes my advice – well, listens except when it comes to IT – because I’m a girl and what would I know? Suddenly I was enjoying my job even more!

Then about 18 months ago, Bobs asked me to step-up to a dream job – a job which I really really enjoy and I think is well suited to my particular mix of skills. It’s exhausting and stressful, but hey – there’s comparatively very little toxicity and horror, and my days are not filled with whinging (okay – sometimes they are, because … people).

So, I don’t know … I could GTFO, but I’ve just started year 2 of a quite huge 5 year project – which I think I’d like to see through.

What I really need to is work on my boundaries – not say yes to everything going in order to raise my profile, which only results in my over-working myself into unhappiness. I really need to get past the imposter syndrome because, to be honest, my profile is raised quite enough – it’s often counter-productive now to be such a yes-person.

While I’m on this break I want to think about dropping down to 4 days a week – I could do this with my current job IF I do the boundaries thing.

I’m going to call this one ACHIEVED – but it’s very much a WIP.


^^ who you may recall once refused to allow me to leave a meeting to go to the bathroom.
** it was that kind of place.

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