go crazy? don’t mind if i do

Spoke to Mental Health Professional on Friday to make an appointment. She asked if my GP had made me aware that she’d be on hols for the next 5 weeks. He hadn’t made me aware (I’m sure he wasn’t aware either), but I said I thought that I’d be okay to wait to see her when she returned. I’ve waited this long already and I do feel quite a bit better than I did last week. Even just seeing the GP made me feel as though I was doing something positive.

So I have an appointment with Mental Health Professional on 23 October. In the meanwhile I’m trying to be more gentle with myself and to make an effort to do something nice for myself each day (quite difficult and one of my hugest issues, along with beating myself up for every little thing and the perfectionistness and the bazillion other things that need fixing).

There was initially a rather complicated set of rules I devised around the Nice Things, such as not repeating nice things within certain time-frames etc, but this was quickly abandoned because I’m quite certain that if I have rules and don’t obey them it will just be Asking For Trouble (it is pressure enough to actually *do* the Nice Things at all). So far I’ve relaxed quietly with brekkie in the DFH1 cafe after my blood test [see below] (rather than racing to work and eating a bikky, as I would normally do), listened to my ipod at work (how sad is my life that this now constitutes a treat?) and acquired an awesome pair of bargain boots (and a couple of new items of clothing).

Today’s Nice Thing was walking to Kirribilli with my lovely husband. The fish and chips we ate while in Kirribilli were definitely not Nice Things (perfectly revolting, ridiculously expensive things, in fact), but it was a very lovely day. I do love an urban hike. 12-13km later, my poor feets are not quite so appreciative.

The walk had a dual purpose – a Nice Thing and getting us out and about. While having his poor, hurty shoulder checked out, Don also had a health check (figuring he should do so, being 40 and all) and while just about everything was great, his cholesterol levels were not. They were so not great that he was immediately put on medication and sent to have his heart checked. They were so not great that his levels are more than double the danger level. Hence the exercise, and the acquisition of the bicycle (which I guess you would only know about if you’re following me on twitter) for the getting to work. He’s quite chilled about it all though. I think it goes without saying that, although trying hard, I am not quite as chilled as he is.

Given that Don and I have the same diet, he was quite insistent that I get checked too, which was one of the reasons I was motivated to make the GP visit (that and the crazy). I had loads of blood removed – mainly to see if there was any medical reason for me feeling as I do. There wasn’t, although I do have rather low iron and ferritin levels (GP says not much I can do, given that I take iron supplements and eat loads of red meat, I guess I could start having steak for brekkie?), but my cholesterol levels are quite excellent. So I’ll continue stuffing my face with butter and cream while poor Don is eating salad.

1Dirty Fucking Hippy (for the uninitiated)


I’ve a ton of un-posted photos from the iphone:


Once upon a time, there was a daddy trolley, a mummy trolley and a tiny baby trolley…

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