at once the howler monkey was on them, clawing their backs with his hind paws, nipping and scratching at their heads.

I could say that the long time between posts was due to my fabulous, exciting and action-packed life, but that would be a lie. Largely my time has been occupied by a combination of alternately moping about, feeling stressed and haus cleaning. Gods, the fun never stops around here, does it? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I need a life.

Things at Marie Celeste are plodding along. 400 year old man is still making life the complete opposite of pleasant. He was totally sapping my confidence (and my will to live) by bombarding me with ridiculous questions that have no real bearing on anything we do, so I’d respond with, “I’m sorry I don’t know the answer, x would be the best person to talk to about this issue.” Most people when you forward them to the right person to talk to would say, “gee whiz, thanks Mrs Hardly, I’ll go and speak to them”, but not 400 year old man. 400 year old man laughs at you for not knowing the answer, and then harangues you for 30+ minutes about how fucked up his particular pet issue of the moment is (the issue, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with with what he is working on).

The Professor and I suspect 400 year old man is trying to score himself a permanant role – gods help us all – even the most tolerant people at Marie Celeste cannot stand him. Did I mention that 400 year old man picks his nose and cleans out his ears in front of the office? And that he flicks his horrible, dried-out, 400 year old tongue in and out like a lizard when you speak to him? And that he refers to female managers as manageress (what is this, 1953?)?

Thankfully for the sake of my sanity, I saved one of 400 year old man’s projects from failure – after vowing that I would never rescue a nutcase contractor ever again – and many congratulatory emails, of the “Mrs Hardly, you are brilliant” ilk, were bandied about to various Managers (and Manageresses). Of course 400 year old man did not say thank you for saving the project, because the almost failure is everyone else’s fault. Who is laughing at who (or is it whom?) now, freak?

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