Joan and Ovi shared their wedding photos on a family zoom call last night. They were of course absolutely gorgeous. They’re a very good looking couple.

I may have cried at the spoiler photo Joan shared before the call. Naturally that’s heart-exploding-because-it’s-full-of-rainbows crying, not like boo-hoo sad crying.

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Daylight savings began last weekend and I’ve been really struggling to adjust. It took a while to come up with an adequate description, but I guess I’d liken it to jetlag.

I’m tired. Like tired in my very bones, but not tired like I need a sleep. Brain struggling to keep up.

How can the shift of an hour make such a difference?

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Lockdown day count = 108. I’m really thankful restrictions start easing on Monday.

It has been such a long time that by now I’ve forgotten (abandoned?) most of my good habits, to be honest I’m not sure I quite remember what my good habits were. It’s all a bit of a blur.

Learned yesterday that I’m back in the office sometime in February in a 3:2 hybrid. I actually don’t mind this model – until I’m told I must adhere to it, then I get all bolshie and oppositional.

Don returns 1 December, Joe/Frank end of October (which seems rather premature).

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Don and I have started a practice (if one can call 2x a practice) of taking a long walk on the weekend. These walks have been around 15km which has been pretty exhausting and have required a long nap. It’s been really very pleasant to get out and about and astonishing that I have experienced none of the agonising leg/ankle pain of the past. How can this be?

I can’t imagine we’ll keep this up every weekend, because we’d get bored and cranky, but it is something we’d like to do more of.

Once we’re released, I’m quite motivated to use the weekends for weekend activities that don’t involve hours of grocery shopping and household chores.

And in the mode of EXPERIENCE ALL THE THINGS, I lashed out on a 4 concert subscription package for the Sydney Symphony Orchestra in 2022. I will probably also lash out on tickets to plays when the Sydney Theatre Company announces its 2022 season. And I will not automatically dismiss whatever other cultural happenings cross my path.

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In astonishing news, during the week I submitted my CV for an almost identical role to mine in a very different field. I’m not at all bothered if this doesn’t come off as there were quite a number of red flags in both the advert and my research.

The big thing is that I actually, bravely put something out into the world!

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It’s domain and blog hosting renewal at the end of the month. This means time to decide whether to throw down the cash for another year or shut up shop after almost 18(!) years.

I’m highly ambivalent about continuing, which I think is obvious given the amount I’ve been showing up, or more accurately have not been showing up.

I was talking this through with the endlessly patient Don, and said I don’t feel like I’m the same person as peak-blogging-carolbaby. He agreed and commented that current me is quite serious and earnest. I’d not actually thought of myself as earnest, but yes, I probably am.

Maybe I’ve lost my voice, maybe I no longer have much to say, maybe blogging is really no longer a *thing*, or my *thing*?

Maybe I’m just really knackered by the pandemic, maybe a pause is just a pause?

I realise I’ve been sharing a lot of myself at SML, definitely more than in the past. I guess it evolved unintentionally during the first lockdown and then during remote working as a way to bond and build community – and just get through it all. And what I spent all my energy sharing there I did not share here. I’m really quite motivated to wind this back and get some space from my colleagues!

And maybe I’m way overthinking this?

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