Many, many, many years ago I think at reverse garbage or the bower, I happened upon a small, slender picture book which was so I-don’t-even-know-how-to-describe-it that I there was nothing for it but to hand over the (I think) 50cents and make it mine.

It entertained Joan and I for years with its I-don’t-even-know-how-to-describe-itness and we often amused ourselves by coming up with captions.

The little book has long been decluttered and donated, but before I let it go, I scanned it and kept intending to post selected highlights on valentine’s day. And inevitably I’d completely forget and remember my intentions some time around April.

But not this year, this year it is time.

I give you selected highlights from “I LOVE YOU”:

i love you: like a poorly-composed, out of focus sunset

i love you: like a dead tree in the moonlight

i love you: like penguins in the desert

i love you: like a mangy foal

i love you: like a window-pane dripping with condensation

i love you: like a dead stick at sunset

i love you: like a cranky dog

fin

Sadly, there is no publisher, no date, nor ISBN – so if you want a copy of your very own, I think you are out of luck.