You may have noticed my recent absence from the blog.
This was largely due to the re-emergence of my crazy.
I felt miserable, cranky, hopeless, irrational and much, much more! And none of the strategies I had developed with my therapist were working at all, which, of course, made things all the more terrible. All that progress out the window &etc.
It was only after a ridiculous argument with Don last evening (entirely of my own making), which took me to a very bad mental place indeed, that I finally realised what was going on.
Due to some gynaecological issues, the details of which I will spare you (you can thank me later), I’ve recently had my beloved and brilliant IUD removed and am now, after 3ish years, back on the pill.
You can see where this is leading. Of course it is the huge influx of hormones that is making me totally and completely batshit irrational! I should have remembered this from years ago (one of the reasons I went with the IUD in the first place), I should have remembered it from when Joan went through the same thing.
The relief at recognising that there is a reason for all of this is overwhelming. Now I have identified the cause, I can totally work with it. I know this won’t be all sunshiney, but at least I won’t be filled with despair at the unidentified crazy. The monster you can see is much easier to defeat.