i’ve been one longer than not


Mothers Day pancakes (with vanilla bean ice-cream) c/- the lovely dfkan.

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I so desperately need a new handbag, but I have somewhat specific requirements and these have proved rather impossible to fill. I fear I may be forced to construct something myself (Don suggested I use the jumper I just killed).

And it needs to be an impressive one, because the fashion stakes at the Marie Celeste (and more specifically in Dept-Cool-until-you-are-in-it) have been raised to a level hitherto unknown by the arrival of Don’s replacement aka Exotic Brazillian Goddess aka Pubes. Not only is she very very tall, very very fit, very very intelligent, has a very very exotic accent, she had the most awesome wardrobe ever. My beloved gay pal and I almost fainted after seeing her outfit, and in particular her boots, on Thursday. He said, “your department is becoming fashionista central”, then we fell about laughing because I was wearing (from feet up) white and pink sports socks, too-big pin-striped pants from k-mart (I’m having sizing issues at present, but that is a story for another time), my hair pulled back in an untidy bun with a pencil stuck in it and a rather large badge that said, “I’m a star” (from an awesome retro badge making set I scored on eBay) – I’m totally all class and completely elegant.

The Professor and I are convinced that Pubes will definitely put The Oaf in his place – which will be a Very Good Thing indeed – for she is quite outspoken and appears very intelligent (where he is the polar opposite of intelligent). She has a very strong accent, so the fat-lazy-stupid-whipped-sooky-oaf originally felt the need to talk. to. her. really. really. really. slowly. Dickhead. I’m really eager to see how it will pan out, because he feels totally threatened by her already, he’s already spoken of how much he wishes Don was back (when he has already attempted, particularly unsuccessfully, to scapegoat Don on several occasions to make himself look good – tool).

3 thoughts on “i’ve been one longer than not

  1. Because she’s a brazillian – boom tish! (oh! the comedic genius that is me.)Although, in retrospect, probably she should have been called pubeless.

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