I decided to open a bank account at an actual bank, rather than my little credit union, because the rather large ATM fees each month are adding up. So I chose westpac (no link, for reasons which will become obvious), because there is a branch very close to Marie Celeste and there are loads of westpac ATMs about.

So I filled in an online application form, was posted the paperwork and had to pop into the closest branch to activate the account / prove my identity. There the problems began. The staff were grumpy/unhelpful and the branch was a mess (quite unlike the lovely credit union). When I pulled out my various forms of ID (birth certificate, drivers licence, medicare card & credit union card) the bank drone decided that I did not have 100 points because my birth certificate is in my maiden name. I have never encountered this interesting example of pedantry before, my birth certificate has always proved adequate in the past for this sort of thing – mainly used as a formality, because my drivers licence has my photo on it. I don’t actually have any other acceptable forms of ID (rental agreement not good enough, tax statement not good enough, myriad of other things I suggested not good enough).

So I considered that the universe was trying to tell me to stay with my lovely little credit union and told them to close the account.

That’s 45 minutes of my life I’m never getting back.