“Lets talk about being 40, you’re past the point of no return.” So sayeth Kyan (birthname Eddie).

Eddie has now firmly cemented his tubby self in the “get off my teev fat boy and give me some more thom, ted, carson or jai” category of my QEFTSG experience.

Sure, Eddie was simply fabulous eye candy in the first season – essentially he stood about looking pretty. Sadly, good living (or something) over the summer hiatus seems to have been not particularly kind to old Eddie – he has packed on the kilos and that once washboard stomach now resembles a pudding. Eye candy no longer! And that mullet – for the love of humanity!!

And the loss of aesthetic appeal has highlighted his comparatively lame contributions to the programme.