I suspect I am having a wee (or not so wee) mid-life crisis1.
Whinging follows (you may want to turn away now):
I have very recently realised that, aside from my totally rocking relationship with Don and my rather marvellous kiddies, I have little to no life outside of work. Work is mostly what I think about and work is mostly what I talk about and, quite frankly, this really sucks. It is not like I have a very high-powered, interesting or fascinating job or even a job that I like overly much.
I am sure that I used to have interests and hobbies and topics of conversation that were not work-related and I am also sure that once upon a time I also had several friends that were not from work. I don’t know quite what has happened to get me into my current state, but I dearly want it to stop. This weekend have been making efforts to do so (because I am utterly sick of talking about it and myself for talking about it, so I can only imagine how poor Don and dfkan feel!) and actually it has been quite lovely and much more relaxing – although it definitely initially required a significant amount of effort to focus my attention elsewhere, and it is the weekend, so I am not actually exposed to the workplace (mileage may vary tomorrow).
I desperately want to be one of those people who walk out the door and don’t think (or talk/rant/brood) about a single godsdamn work-related topic until I walk in the door the next working day. I envy them rather a lot.
So I think the idea is to fill my life up with … things. Except that when I attempt to remember the things I enjoy, I come up blank.
And then there is the whole: my babies are growing up and I feel a bit lost, I have been a mother for longer than I haven’t and so I really don’t know what it is like to have, well, free time, to do things or what it is like to spend time on my own or to develop interests of my own.
I suspect I need to indulge in some serious navel-gazing in the weeks to come. I totally need to get on the 43 things train (following in the footsteps of the lovely Jane), once I actually work out what the things are.
1with thanks to Faith No More for the title lyrics