I’ve drawn Envoy and Strasbourg in the $2 Melbourne Cup sweep at Marie Celeste. Given my past form, this is surely the kiss of death for both ponies – you have been warned.

On Friday one of my colleagues was invited to her 20 year high school reunion – this horrified both of us, for we are the same age. 20 years – holy crap. My colleague (who I cannot think of a cunning pseudonym for) is fabulous, single and childless – which by all accounts causes problems at renunions, because there is an awful lot of overt pity for and looking down at the childless. In jest, she said she would perhaps take a photo of her niece and claim it as her own. Always up for the humour, I suggested she invent a fabulous husband who had died in some spectacular fashion. She responded that this wouldn’t be an untruth. Shit. Note to self: just shut the fuck up.

The beginnings of daylight savings do not treat this old lady very kindly.