potentialising the granular synergy

Ack! I hate performance reviews and normally don’t take them too seriously, but the upcoming one could be related to extra $$ and I’m all about the cash at the moment (I certainly can’t be all about the job satisfaction).

I received my performance plan from one of my managers today & realised I’ve only achieved four of my eight objectives – shit.

I still have one business day left to complete the remaining four, it is unlikely this will happen, given that my time tomorrow is pretty much accounted for. I’m desperately thinking maybe I can “achieve” some of them on Sunday night (mostly report-writing type stuff)…

This is a particularly loathesome bit from the plan – giving examples of how I have demonstrated my competencies (which essentially are a whole lot of buzz-words strung together meaning not a hell of a lot) eg…..

  • Juggles competing Priorities
    Definition:
    Maintains progress on multiple projects and activities by recognising continually shifting priorities and re-allocating resources
  • Responsive to Team Needs
    Definition:
    Assesses the needs and requirements of the team and implements solutions to achieve desired team goals
  • Results Focused
    Definition:
    Readily completes tasks in a manner that exceeds expectations, optimising all business opportunities where possible
  • Works Independently
    Definition:
    Plans and works effectively with minimal supervision or direction
  • Maintains Quality Standards by being Thorough and Accurate
    Definition:
    Adheres to organisational and department standards of quality when completing tasks and projects
  • Effectively Manages and Uses Time
    Definition:
    Creates and works to a detailed plan to ensure work is prioritised and deadlines are met

And then I have to rate myself.

And then there is the worst bit – listing my career objectives – ewwwwwwwwwww. I don’t *have* any career objectives – except to be paid.

I need Fenton to help me – he exceeds expectations at shit like this.

Oh God, its awful…………

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