I just completed a telephone market research survey about cigarettes. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the people who design these surveys are on crack.

I was given a list of 9 cigarette brands. I had to chose a brand/brands from the list which first sprang to mind when I was asked the following questions:

Which would I consider dynamic?
Which represented Australian values?
Which would someone carry if they wanted to make a date / pick up?
Which would be seen as a great fashion accessory?
Which would make one feel charismatic / magnetic?
Which would make one feel personally attractive?
Which would be good to smoke if you were sick /had a cold?

There were more questions – but I was laughing so much I forgot them.