The past week has been revolting and I have coped less than well with it. The mood lately has verged in the swinging – but this week was all glum all the time.
There is Ducks home game tonight (go team!), but I really wanted some quiet time to decompress – so Don, Joe/Frank and Bessie left me to my devices while they went to cheer cheer the red and the white.
My devices include pottering about, patting kitties, eating beans on toast and drinking a nice cup of tea (or two). It is rather pleasant and very relaxing. Just what I needed.
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Further to my wildly swinging moods, I whipped up a handy chart to illustrate:
Yesterday Don and I were discussing how we might address this, primarily because I am doing all the right things (regular exercise, not a lot of drinkering) and it isn’t really working as I’d expect. I’m really full of the negative self-talk &etc and it is a bit unpleasant.
Then it struck me, could this be … menopause?!?!?!
hugs my friend, i hear you and understand completely
in fact, am currently sitting at home drinking a cup of tea while all others are out making merry
Right back at you! x
Horrible, isn’t it? At times I really wish my inner voice (who can be a right cow) would just shut the hell up.
The time alone was just what I needed and I really should do it more often. Must pursue making my little nest at the top of the stairs – electricity or no.
I suspect everyone’s menopause is different. Mine passed with no impact on mental health since I just had a whole load of other crazy impinging on me and negligible physical impact (I put the additional 10kg down to my slothful life style and living on planes and out of hotels for the past 7 months) but I do think you are at least making the right steps in analysing the data. I know you have written about this, but it seems like a large trigger for you is a work environment that on the one hand praises your technical capabilities but on the other fails to deliver you autonomy to deliver and has a large capacity to tolerate senior managers with no skills. I’d put that finding a new job at the top of your list.
Is probably worth a trip to the Doc to see if I can eliminate it as an option. Luckily no hot flushes or night sweats, but plenty of mood swings, dry skin, horrible nails, sleeplessness and forgettery. I think the only reason I’m not gaining weight is running and the FatController.
You have absolutely and completely nailed the problem with SML.
But only four short months until I am eligible for long service leave and after my long holiday (still to be decided) I will definitely be G(ing)TFO.