I blame the mirena entirely. While it has proved quite effective in preventing me from bleeding all over the furniture, 3Xtr3m3 weight gain impacts less than 5% of users and it looks like I have won the fatty lottery. I’ve put on at least two dress sizes since having it inserted and the enlarging shows no sign of abating.

So I have been very much thinking that perhaps it is time for another ute surgery, but of a more permanent kind.

What is giving me pause is that I feel more healthy and have much more energy than I have in years – despite the chubb.

Is it pure vanity that is making me consider quite serious surgery? Probably, yes.

And so, before booking myself in for a post-financial year operation, I’ve decided to take one final stab at weightloss, to really make certain that it is the mirena.

From Saturday, for one month, it will be All Exercise All The Time, embracing healthy eating (not a stretch, we generally eat healthily) and consuming very, very minimal amounts of wine (which will be much more of a stretch).

I will take measurements and keep all manner of stats. And on 17 April, I will decide if I need to book that appointment.